2011 is just about spent.... that can only mean one thing...."SARCAZMOS TOP 7 MOST ANTICIAPTED MOVIES OF 2012".
When "THE CAZ" makes a list, you better check it twice. So take heed, as these are likely the must see movies of the year.
7. TOTAL RECALL. August 3, 2012. I'm a big fan of the first "Recall", so I'm fairly enticed to take a gander at this remake.
WHAT: Remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger 1990 sci-fi/action film about a man who takes a vacation thats all mental... you never leave your chair.
This movie had alot of gore that had to be cut to avoid an X rating. It also had cool aliens, a star making performance by Sharon Stone, and Michael Ironside stealing the movie...but what movie doesnt Ironside steal??
Colin Farrell takes over the Arnold role (Tom Hardy and Michael Fassbender were the other two choices)...I'm not so sure about this.
Jessica Biel plays a prostitute...I'm sure about this.
WHY: $200 million dollars...thats why. This movie has a ridiculously/unessessary ginormous budget. So there HAS to be mutated freak aliens galore.
This will win the CONAN award for most excessive waste of a companies bankroll...theres no way this thing is making $200 million in the US (in August). Some studio douche who loved the original decided it would be "bitchin" to remake this and spend a fifth of a billion dollars of good studio money on it and cast Colin Farrell...because it worked so well with FRIGHT NIGHT. I still want to see it regardless.
6. WORLD WAR Z. December 21, 2012.
WHAT: Based on a best selling novel that I didnt read, about a U.N. employee traveling the world interviewing zombie apocalypse survivors.
From what I'm reading its sounds like Children of Men meets All The Presidents Men meets 28 Days Later.
WHY: Its a zombie movie with BRAD PITT.
OSCAR buzz...and its a zombie film.
This has the potential to be the dullest zombie movie in awhile. It doesnt read like Brad Pitt interacts with zombies at all, but we'll see.
The film cost $125 million, Pitt gets $25mil of that, but thats still $100mil to spend on zombie carnage.
5. PROMETHEUS. June 8, 2012. Unofficially ALIEN 5, unofficially a prequel to ALIEN.
WHAT: Ridley Scott returns to horror/sci-fi for the first time in 33 years.
This is reportedly not a direct prequel to the original ALIEN, but you're still likely to run into good ol'chestbuster and friends.
WHY: Well let me see...RIDLEY "f*%king" SCOTT is directing. Not good enough for you, how bout this cast...Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, and the always "always" Ben Foster. You just know Ben Fosters gonna get royally effed up. Probable lots of new aliens.
These ALIEN movies never set the box office on fire, but its still must see moo-vie for "The CAZ".
4. THE AVENGERS. May 4, 2012. A bunch of superheros who had their own mediocre movies, combine forces for likely another mediocre movie.
WHAT: All your favorite MARVEL superheros join forces in an attempt to stop THOR'S kid bro LOKI from becoming the ruler of the free world...ZOD..cough..cough...excuse me.
WHY: Huge budget $225 million...makes for lots of scenes of destruction that'll have you bored out of your mind faster than you can say 2012.
Joss Whedon....I think he'll handle the human elements of each superhero the right way.
HULK is gonna whup that ass.
I just want lots of non-action interaction between the superheros. Have the fellas drinking a few brews before gametime, or a bidding war between all the boys on who gets to date the BLACK WIDOW, human stuff...you know the stuff that made XMEN 2 so good.
Likely will keep the biggest opening weekend seat warm until The Dark Knight Rises is released later in the year.
3. SKYFALL aka BOND 23. November 9, 2012. The 23rd James Bond film.... 4 years after the genocide that was Quantum of Solace.
WHAT: SKYFALL will have little to no ties to the previous two movies..... (QUANTUM OF SOLACE is going to be the HALLOWEEN 3 of the franchise...it just never happened).
The story is under lock and key with numerous roles and plot details kept in a vault..... along with the actors and writers who are playing and writing them.
WHY: You should always know what you're gonna get with a new James Bond movie. You need a cool opening, a cool segway into hopefully a cool theme song, and a cool credits sequence, and then an entertaining movie.
Javier Bardem is the bad guy...I can live with this.
DANIEL CRAIG is back...I love this guy as an actor.
ADELE (at least she can sing) is reportedly doing the theme song...was MUSE busy?
Anything after QUANTUM OF (explain the plot to me one more time please) SOLACE will be an improvement.
2. PARADISE LOST 3: PURGATORY. 2012. The 3rd and final film documentary based on the West Memphis 3 murders. As far as documentaries go, Paradise Lost 1 and 2 are Shangri-La.
WHAT: In 1994, 3 teenagers were convicted of murdering 3 young boys in West Memphis, Arkansas despite little to no evidence.
Most of the evidence was circumstantial and based on the fact that the teenage boys dressed in black and listened to Metallica.
An HBO documentary team followed the entire trial...including cameras in the courtroom. This footage was used to make Paradise Lost 1 and 2. This made for some of the best documentary you will ever see.
PARADISE LOST 3 is the conclusion to the story.
WHY: PARADISE LOST 1 and 2 are in my top 10 of all time, a glimpse into the redneck/welfare heartland that is/was West Memphis. You couldnt write some of the characters in these movies even if you had Gertrude Stein riding shotgun with a laptop and an open mind.
Pushed back to January of 2012 to be considered for the Academy Award for best documentary.
1. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. July 20th, 2012. The epic conclusion to the Nolan /Bale BATMAN franchise. Please no reboots.
WHAT: Christopher Nolan has said this is his and Bales final bat-movie together.
What we know is it takes place many years after The Dark Knight. Bane and Catwoman are the villains but Catwoman likely turns by the end of the movie.
Batman likely gets a serious beatdown from Bane in this film.
Bane likely takes over the city with an army of escaped convicts.
Bane likely steals the movie and makes TOM HARDY a legend and household name. The producers of the upcoming MAD MAX film have to be patting themselves on the back right about now.
WHAT: Christopher Nolan has said this is his and Bales final bat-movie together.
What we know is it takes place many years after The Dark Knight. Bane and Catwoman are the villains but Catwoman likely turns by the end of the movie.
Batman likely gets a serious beatdown from Bane in this film.
Bane likely takes over the city with an army of escaped convicts.
Bane likely steals the movie and makes TOM HARDY a legend and household name. The producers of the upcoming MAD MAX film have to be patting themselves on the back right about now.
WHY: Why.... because you just know this is gonna be good. Chris Nolan rarely screws up...INCEPTION..cough..cough. Tom Hardy is one of the 7 best actors in the world.
This is one of the movies a studio has no problem forking over $250 million to make. Guaranteed money well spent. Will make a billion dollars by its 8th week. Even money it breaks the all time box office opening weekend record.
So there ya have it...quality blog at an affordable price.
Just missing the cut of the TOP 7 must see movies...The Expendables 2, Savages (Oliver Stone), The Gangster Squad (Sean Penn), Django Unchained (Tarantino) and that Spiderman reboot thingy.
